Just picked this joke up via a (warning: expletive) cartoon a friend mailed me. To spare those who want to avoid the expletive, here’s the text.
Bob: So, how do I query the database?
IT guy: It’s not a database. It’s a key-value store.
Bob: OK, it’s not a database. How do I query it?
IT guy: You write a distributed map-reduce function in Erlang.
Bob: Did you just tell me to go screw myself?
IT guy: I believe I did, Bob.