Category Archives: Communications

Reacting to Feedback as CEO

The other day I saw this tweet from my friend Nick Mehta, CEO of GainSight, and it got me thinking.

feedback

It turns out that in addition to making fun music videos for company events, that Nick and I have another thing in common:  we both wrestle with finding the right balance in listening to feedback.  Since this is a topic I’ve pondered quite a bit over my 12+ years as a startup CEO, I thought I’d share those thoughts in this post.

First, you don’t get to be CEO of a startup by not caring.  You want your company to be great, you want your customers to be delighted, and you want your employees to be happy working at your company.  So I think most CEOs will have that same natural tendency towards immediate action that Nick mentions.

But CEOs who overreact both irritate employees (“so you’ve heard one side of this and it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind”) and, more dangerously, are easily manipulated.  If you find 3 people outside your office before a big meeting, each hoping to the last one to talk to you before it begins, then I’d view that as flashing yellow sign that you might be an overreactor.

On the flip side, there is some chance that the feedback is an outlier, and that reacting to it would be a mistake, particularly in terms of the opportunity cost of not having focused on something more generally important.

Finding that balance in the middle is indeed the hard part.  On one hand, CEOs are action-oriented and if they hear something plausible, they want to immediately dispatch someone to fix it.  On the other, CEOs get lots of feedback and it’s a little too easy to create a platitude shield around yourself that rationalizes feedback before it gets through — e.g., salespeople are never happy with their comp plans, employees generally don’t like their bosses, and customers always want more for their services dollar.  If you gave me 30 minutes I think I could generate about ten platitudes that would screen out 90% of feedback.  And that’s not good either.

So what should you do to find this balance?  Here are some tips:

  • Listen to everyone, all the time.  Ask open-ended questions.  For example:  “how’s your experience been working here”, “what are we like to work with as a customer”,  or “what do you think we can do better.”  Rule 1 is you’re not listening if you’re talking, so speak little and listen a lot.  Try to set up meetings as listening or feedback sessions as opposed to the default that “our CEO wants to come in and talk to you.”  Reframe it:  “our CEO wants to come in and listen to you, hear about your project, etc.”  The more feedback you get the harder it is to overreact to any one piece.
  • Remember that people have good days and bad days so do not overreact to any one incident.  (If someone really unloads on you, listen politely, take notes, and set up a follow-up call in a week or two to check back in.)
  • Listen no matter what you’re hearing.  You might hear things that are factually wrong.  You might hear things you find offensive.  You might hear things you immediately want to explain.  Recognize these as defensive reactions (even if they are appropriate defensive reactions) and remember Rule 2:  defensiveness kills communications.  Shut up, let the other person keep talking, take notes about any points you want to clarify, and discuss them at the end of the conversation.
  • Ask the “dead moose” question.  Is there any issue so big and glaring that we’re afraid to talk about and it’s like a giant dead moose in the middle of the conference room table that we’re all ignoring as we converse?  This gives people permission to put the big, often obvious, but potentially dangerous issues on the table — and get the moose off it)
  • Remember that people sometimes have agendas that shape their feedback.  Not all feedback is “pure” or unbiased in the sense that it’s a neutral voice wanting what it perceives as best for the company.  Maybe a customer is in the middle of negotiating a big contract.  Maybe an employee is angry about having missed a promotion.  Maybe a manager is trying to reorganize a department.  There’s nothing wrong with having an agenda, but it helps to know what it is when processing feedback.  Ask:  is there any bigger picture item that’s shaping this feedback overall?
  • When it comes to employee incidents, remember there are three sides to every story:  yours, mine, and what actually happened.  If you react to the first person you hear, then you’ll be teeing up a race to your office after every dispute because (as with patents) the first one to the office wins.  When faced with interpersonal disputes, remember my friend Martin Cooke’s favorite question:  “so what did Joe say when you spoke to him about this?”  If they’ve not spoken yet, then send them off to do so.
  • Beware hearsay.  It’s not allowed in court, so perhaps it shouldn’t be allowed in your office.  I don’t want to spend time with Pete saying he heard Paula say something offensive to Joe.  Tell Joe to come see me.  Or go find Joe yourself.  But we’ve all played the telephone game and know what happens to messages as they told and re-told through layers of people.
  • Remember that “not reacting now” is not the same as “not reacting.”  This is very important because “not reacting now” is probably the right answer 90% of the time.  Write it down.  Think about it.  Schedule a meeting.  But resist — and I know it’s hard — any action-oriented tendency to “do something” right now.  Once you get a reputation for going off half-cocked it’s pretty hard to shake — and very easy to get manipulated.  Time is usually your friend.
  • Remember, the plural of anecdote is not data.  Hearing the same story or opinion two to three times doesn’t automatically turn it into data.  Use surveys to gather data and use all your feedback conversations to guide topical questioning in those surveys.
  • Go get data.  You should already be running quarterly customer surveys and bi-annual or quarterly employee surveys.  Study the data in them.  Use what you’ve heard listening to people to drive special, topical lines of questioning within them.  Or, if indicated, do a special topic survey.  Once you’ve done the survey, call an optional Town Hall meeting to discuss the results.
  • Remember that 80% of an employee’s experience at your company is shaped by their manager (and, as a corollary that 80% of a customer’s experience is shaped by their account manager).  Ask specific questions about both in your surveys and when hot spots light up, go dig into them (i.e, why are so many of Joe’s employees rating him poorly on management).  Most companies are small enough that the digging can be done by live 1-1 meetings or phone calls.
  • View external data with a skeptical eye.  You can’t ignore the fact that product and company review sites exist.  All review sites have limitations — competitors can launch coordinated attacks to decrease your scores while HR can launch proactive programs to increase your scores.  My controversial advice for CEOs is to ignore these sites yourself and put your VP of Marketing in charge of product review sites and your VP of People on company review sites.  If you start to personally and immediately respond to these public posts, you are basically incenting employees to raise gripes in a public forum, as opposed to a private one such as your employee survey or coming to you directly.

Let me thank Nick for putting an important question on the table.  If you have other tips on how to answer it, please share them here.

The Introvert’s Guide to Glad-Handing

One day back at MarkLogic, we invited our local congresswoman, Jackie Speier, to visit our offices.  Regardless of what you may think of her politics, she’s an impressive person with an fascinating background including, for those with long memories, that she was the congressional aide shot five times and left for dead on the runway in Guyana when Congressman Leo Ryan went to investigate Jonestown.  I was looking forward to meeting her.

She arrived — early of course — with a few handlers.  We exchanged the usual greetings and took a few pictures.  Then, she said, “would you mind if I went around and met a few people before the presentation?”  “No, no — not at all,” I said.  Leaving the handlers behind, off she went into the sea of cubicles.

Affordable Care Act

What I saw next blew me away.

Cube by cube she proceeded, “Hi, I’m Jackie — what’s your name?”  “Great, what do you do here?”  “Oh, I see [from the picture on your desk] you have a son, what’s his name?’  “How old is he?”  “Oh, [insert something in common here].”  More chatter.  A few laughs.  “Are there any questions I can answer for you today?”

There are extroverted people.  There are gregarious people.  There are charismatic people.  And then there are politicians.  She was the best room-worker I had ever seen in my life and she did it as effortlessly as she did naturally.

“This,” I thought, ” is why you’re not a politician, Dave. You have no skills.”

But leading the troops is a key part of the job of a startup CEO.  While such glad-handing often comes naturally to sales-oriented CEOs, it usually does not for more product-oriented ones.  A sales-oriented CEO is typically an extrovert; a product-oriented one an introvert.  So what’s a poor introvert to do?

First, Run A Normal Communications Program
All CEOs should run some sort of baseline company communications program.  This could look something like:

  • Bi-annual kickoffs where the company is brought together to hear about progress, learn about new initiatives, and recognize achievement.  Think:  educate, decorate, inebriate.
  • Post-quarter all hands calls/meetings after the off-quarters to discuss company performance, progress on quarterly goals, and go-forward priorities.
  • Topical all-hands emails and follow-up live calls/meeting to announce breaking news and provide commentary.
  • Separate and/or built-in “town hall” sessions with open employee Q&A to the CEO and the exec team.

This is baseline.  If you’re not doing this and you’re over about 20 people you need to start doing aspects of it.  If you’re over 150-200 people you should be doing all of this and quite possibly more.

For most CEOs — even the introverts — this isn’t hard.  It’s structured.  There are presentations.  Most of the questions in Q&A can be anticipated, if not solicited in advance.

Management by Walking Around
Let’s say you’ve set up such a program and are getting good feedback on it.  But nevertheless you’re still getting feedback like:

“You’re in your office and in meetings too much.  People want to see more of you.  The answer isn’t more all hands meetings.  Those are fine.  But people want to see you in a more informal and/or 1-1 way.  I know, you need to do more MBWA — management by walking around.  You’ll be great at it!”

“No, I won’t,” thinks the highly self-aware introvert CEO, imaging a nightmare that goes something like this:

CEO:  “Hey, Bro-dy!” [Struggling to choose between Bro and Buddy.]
Employee:  “Did you just call me grody?  What the –“
CEO:  “No, Buddy, no,  I called you Bro, Pal.”
CEO:  “So, how’s my Buddy doing?”  [Slaps his back.]
Employee:  “Ow!  I just had shoulder surgery.”
CEO:  “Whoops, sorry about that.”
Employee:  “No problem.”
CEO:  [Notices wedding picture on desk.]  “Hey, how’s that lovely wife?”
Employee:  “We split up three months ago.”
CEO:  [Thinking: “I bet this never happens to Jackie Speier, I bet this never happens to … “]

Sure, the CEO thinks, let’s try some more MBWA.  Or maybe not.

Find Your Way
The problem here is simple — it’s a classic, in this case “reverse,” delegation mistake.  The well-intentioned feedback-giver isn’t just telling you what needs to be done (i.e., help people get to know you better through more individualized interaction),  they’re telling you how to do it (i.e., management by walking around).  So the solution is simple:  listen to the what and find your own way of how.  If you’re not a natural grip-and-grin type, them MBWA isn’t going to work for you.  What might?  Here are some ideas:

  • Every Friday morning do three, half-hour 1-1s with employees across the organization.  This will play to your introvert strength in 1-1 meetings and and your desire to have substantial, not superficial, interactions with people.  If you’re disciplined, you’ll get to know 156 people/year this year.
  • Management by sitting in the way (MBSITW).  Pick a busy spot — e.g., the coffee room or the cafeteria — and camp out there for a few hours every week.  Work on your laptop when no one’s around but when someone walks in, say hi, and engage in a 1-1 chat.
  • Small-group town hall Q&A sessions.  Attend one department’s group meeting and do a one-hour town hall Q&A.  It’s not quite 1-1, but it’s definitionally a smaller forum which will provide more intimacy.
  • Thursday lunches.  Every Thursday have lunch with 3-4 people chosen at semi-random so as to help you build relationships across the organisation.

So, the next time someone tells you that you need to do more MBWA, thank them for input, and then go find your way of solving the underlying problem.

Write Actionable Emails! (aka, If You’re Going to Make a Proposal, Make One)

As CEO of a company, I can’t tell you the number of times, I get emails like this:

Dave,

I know our policy is that we don’t pay both the salesreps their high-rate commissions on low-profit, one-of items, but we ended up doing a $50K/year pass-along storage fee for Acme, because they are managing a huge amount of data.  Because it recurs we’re considering it ARR at the corporate level.  The rep is OK because he is being paid well on the rest of the $500K deal, but I worry that the sales managers and sales consultants who also get paid on new ARR bookings won’t get 100% of their payout if we don’t pay them on this – can we please do that?

Thanks/Kelly

I find this email a non-actionable, incomplete proposal better suited for a philosophy class than a business discussion.  The mail does ask for approval, so you might think it’s actionable – but is it really?  What’s missing?  Three things.

  • A complete, concrete proposal: taking everything into account – all groups, any existing relevant policies, and any relevant precedent — what do you want to do?  Suppose the SDRs are also paid on total bookings, have you simply overlooked them and will be back asking for more once you’ve figured that out or are you saying you don’t want to pay them like the sales managers and SCs?
  • Numbers: what’s it going to cost the company?  First principles are fine, but you must translate them into recommended actions and identified costs.  I don’t mind back-of-the-envelope calculations, but I do need to be sure you’ve included everything in your analysis.  If the issue is complex or expensive, then I’d want a well thought-out and clearly documented spreadsheet cost analysis.  I get the qualitative arguments, but if you are just giving me passion and philosophy with no idea of what it’s going to cost, then I have no way of answering.
  • One or more alternatives:  if I don’t want to approve your primary proposal, do you have a preferred backup?  What is your plan B and what would it cost the company and why do you prefer plan A to it?
  • Bonus: a proposal to change existing polices so this situation won’t be ambiguous in the future and require another escalation.

So, let’s re-craft this email into something I’d rather receive:

Dave,

Per our policy we didn’t payout the salesrep on the $50K of ARR we took as a pass-along storage fee on the Acme account.  That’s OK with the rep because such one-of items are clearly excluded in our compensation plan terms and conditions [link to document], but I’ve discovered that the SC and manager compensation plans lack the same exclusionary language.  Ergo, this time, I recommend that we payout the SCs and the managers on this $50K of ARR (total cost $2.5K as it pushes some folks into accelerators).  Additionally, I intend to immediately update and re-issue the T&C document for sales management and SC comp plans.  Can I get your approval on this proposal?

By the way, if you’re opposed to this, can we please just go and payout the SCs (total cost $1.0K) as I believe it’s more important to them than the managers.  Either way, these are small numbers so let’s get this behind us quickly and move onto more important items.

Thanks/Kelly

Ah.  I feel better already.

The proposer is referring to our existing policies – even providing me with links to them – applying them, noticing problems with them, and making a concrete proposal for what to do about it, along with a backup.  Kelly’s telling me correct costs – e.g., not forgetting the impact of accelerators – for approving the proposal.  And even correcting our policies so this situation won’t ever again require an escalation.

Speaking of India: Five Lessons on India-Based Product Development

One of the interesting new challenges I faced when I joined Host Analytics about 5 years ago was working with an offshore development team in India.  Host was originally co-founded in both the US and India, so literally from inception we had employees in both places.  While this has proven to be a huge advantage for us in the market, I learned a few important lessons along the way that I thought I’d share in this post.

Lesson 1:  Read Speaking of India.

When I lived abroad in France for 5 years (which I’ve written a bit about, here), my team discovered a book, French or Foe, that we gave to every new expat when they arrived.  The book explained many important basics of language and culture that we referred to frequently as we tried to make sense of our day-to-day experiences.

Consequently, the first thing I did in approaching India was to search for a book to help me.  I found a great one, Speaking of India, which is all about communications (and how they go wrong) between people from US and Indian work cultures.

For example, see this excerpt which demonstrates “the Indian no” (i.e., the absence of saying yes) in action.

MARIAN: I’m fine, thanks. I was wondering, Kumar, what you would think if we decided to move up the date for the systems test?

KUMAR: Move it up?

MARIAN: Just by a week, at the most.

KUMAR: I see. Do you think it’s possible?

MARIAN: Should be. But what do you think?

KUMAR: Me? I guess you don’t see any problems?

MARIAN: Not really. My people can be ready at this end if your people can be up to speed by then.

KUMAR: I see.

Kumar is basically screaming no here while Marian might very well be hearing yes.

These kinds of misunderstandings are common and if you teach yourself listen appropriately then you can actually hear what is, or in this case, is not being said.

You’ll learn this — and much more — in the Speaking of India.  And you can learn some unique Indian-English words/expressions (e.g., a fresher) as well.

Lesson 2:  Show Up.

It’s hard to get to India.  From San Francisco, it’s 16 hours to Dubai and then 3.5 to Hyderabad (or 14 hours to Hong Kong and then 6 hours to Hyderabad). It takes me a full week to get about 3.5 days of actual work time there.  And let’s not even talk about the 12.5 to 13.5 hour time difference.

But that’s the point.  Because it’s hard, too many people don’t do it, preferring conference calls at odd hours over noisy telephone lines.  If you are serious about your India development center and the people in it, then you need your top executives to show up — at least a few times per year — to get to really know the people and the work environment.

I go three to four times per year with a agenda that typically looks like:

  • A large number of 1-1 meetings
  • Attendance at a few regular group/team meetings
  • A few special, topical meetings
  • An all-hands meeting at the end where I report back on what I’ve learned
  • A few dinner / drinks meetings along the way

Remember the old Woody Allen quote, 80% of success is showing up.  It’s a great rule to follow when thinking of your India development team.

Lesson 3:  Think of Product Management as a Giraffe.

I first came up with the giraffe analogy when I was at Business Objects in Paris.  While our development team (the body) was in France, we needed to have our eyes and ears in the US market if we wanted to be globally competitive.  Hence, product management needed to be the long neck that connected the two.

Concretely, this means you need to staff product managers in both locations, typically putting a greater number of more specialized product managers (PMs) in the USA and a lesser number of more generalized PMs in India. This means your PM investment might be higher than it would be with a co-located model, but it’s worth it.

Some people believe you should call the US-based staff product managers and the India-based staff product owners (POs), but I prefer to call them all product managers.  The reality is the job will inherently be different as a function of location — the USA PMs more customer-facing and the India PMs more engineering-facing — but in the end they are all product managers in my view.

Lesson 4:  Do Real Work.

The fact that we build our core SaaS offering in Hyderabad is a big attraction for talent.  Too many companies use India to do only lower-value work (e.g., porting, localization) which sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy of getting lower-quality talent.  We have found that when you do real work in India — core, critical stuff — that you will have a much easier time attracting talent to do it.

Lesson 5:  Do More Than Development.

Finally, we’ve increasingly been leveraging our footprint to do additional work — such as customer support, customer success, professional services, and even some marketing — which helps transform the environment from purely a “development center” to a generalized satellite office.   This is great because it provides developers and product managers with more direct access to the business — because people in other customer-facing functions are working right across the hall.   Practically, this helps with 24×7 operations (e.g., techops, customer support) as well, where we can provide customers with round-the-clock monitoring and services without having to ask too many people to work the graveyard shift.

I hope you’ve learned something from my journey.  Please feel free to share lessons from yours.

Dear Marketing: Stop Putting the Template Ahead of the Story

I’ve always thought that if marketers wrote newspapers, the famous New York Times headline of August 8, 1974 would have looked like this:

nixon1

Instead of how it actually looked, which was:

pinsdaddy-richard-nixon-resigned-as-us-president-40-years-ago-this-week

What’s the difference?  While both of the above presentations are structured, the newspaper doesn’t let the template get in the way of story.  The newspaper works within the template to tell the story.

I think because marketing departments are so often split between “design people” and “content people,” that (1) templates get over-weighted relative to content and (2) content people get so busy adhering to the template that they forget to tell the story.

Here’s a real, anonymized example:

agf1What’s wrong here?

  • There is a lot of wasted vertical space at the top:  all large font, bolded template items with generous line spacing.
  • The topic section gets lost among the other template items.  Visually, author is as important as topic.
  • There is no storytelling.  There is effectively no headline — “Latest Release of Badguy Product” takes no point-of-view and doesn’t create an angle for a story.
  • The metadata is not reader-first, preferring to remind Charles of his title over providing information on how to contact him.

But there is one, much more serious problem with this:  the claim / rebuttal structure of the document lets the competitor, not the company, control the narrative.

For example, political affiliations aside, consider current events between Trump and Comey.  Like him or not, Trump knows how to control a narrative.  With the claim / rebuttal format, our competitive bulletin would read something like this if adapted to the Trump vs. Comey situation.

Competitive Update:  Team Comey
Trump says:

  • Comey is a coward
  • Comey is a leaker
  • Comey is a liar

But, don’t worry, our competitive team says: 

  • Comey isn’t really a coward, but it is interesting that he released the information through a colleague at Columbia Law School
  • Comey isn’t really a leaker because not all White House conversations can be presumed confidential and logically speaking you can either leak or lie, but you can’t both at the same time.

Great.  What are we talking about?  Whether Comey is a leaker, liar, or coward.  Who’s controlling the narrative?  Not us.

Here’s a better way to approach this document where you rework the header and metadata, add a story to the title, recharacterize each piece of the announcement on first reference (rather than saying it once “their way” and then challenging it), and then providing some broader perspective about what’s happening at the company and how it relates to the Fall17 release.

agf2

This is a very common problem in marketing.  It comes from a lack of storytelling and fill-in-the-template approach to the creation of marketing deliverables.  Avoid it by always remembering to put the story ahead of the template.

Just likes blogs and newspapers do.

Blocking the End Run: Eleven Words to Reduce Politics in Your Organization

People are people.  Sometimes they’re conflict averse and just not comfortable saying certain things to their peers.  Sometimes they don’t like them and are actively trying to undermine them. Sometimes they’re in a completely functional relationship, but have been too darn busy to talk.

So when this happens, how do you — as a manager — respond?  What should you do?

“Hey Dave, I wanted to say that Sarah’s folks really messed up on the Acme call this morning.  They weren’t ready with the proposal and were completely not in line with my sales team.”

Do you pile on?

“Again?  Sarah’s folks are out of control, I’m going to go blast her.”  (The “Young Dave” response.)

Do you investigate?

“You know my friend Marcy always said there are three sides to every story:  yours, mine, and what actually happened.  So let me give Sarah a call and look into this.”

Do you defend?

“Well, that doesn’t sound like Sarah.  Her team’s usually buttoned up.”

In the first case, you’re going off half-cocked without sufficient information which, while emotionally satisfying in the short-term, often leads to a mess followed by several apologies in the mid-term.  In the second case, you’re being manipulated into investigating something when perhaps you were planning a better use of your time that day.  In the third case, you’re going off half-cocked again, but in the other direction.

In all three cases, you’re getting sucked into politics.  Politics?  Is it really politics?  Well, how do you think Sarah is going to feel in when you show up asking a dozen questions about the Acme call?  She’ll certainly consider it politics and, among other things, there’s about a 98% chance that she will say:

“Gosh, I wish Bill came and talked to me first.”

At which point, if you’re like me, you’re going to say:

“No, no, no.  I know what you’re thinking.  Don’t worry, this isn’t political.  It’s not like Bill was avoiding you on this one.  He just happened to be talking to me about another issue and he brought this up at the end.  It’s not political, no.”

But can you be sure?  Maybe it just did pop into Bill’s mind during the last minute of the other call.  Or maybe it didn’t.  Maybe the reason Bill called you was a masterfully political pretext.  Can you know the difference?

So what do you say to Bill when he drops the comment about Sarah’s team into your call?  The eleven words that reduce politics in any organization:

“What did Sarah say when you talked to her about this?”

[Mike Drop.]

# # #

(Props to Martin Cooke for teaching me the eleven words.)

Unicorn Tears, Beyond Ultimate, and the Silicon Valley Hype Mentality,

Back in the day we working on a press release and I was a CMO.

Me:  “Somebody, get Randy (the PR director) in here.”

Me:  “Randy, what is this press release calling our new offering the ultimate in business intelligence?”

Randy:  “Yes and the problem is?”

Me:  “The problem is it’s not the ultimate, it’s better than ultimate, it’s beyond ultimate … there must be a word for that … I don’t know, maybe penultimate.”

Randy:  “Chief,” he said sheepishly after waiting a minute, “penultimate means one less than ultimate.  Ultimate means ultimate.  There is no word for one more than ultimate.”

Me:  “Oh.  Well, God damn it, go make one up.”

It was at that moment that I realized I’d been fully sucked into the Silicon Valley hype machine.  Just as unique means unique and requires no modifier like “amazingly,” so does ultimate means ultimate.

Speaking of “amazing,” during my tenure at Salesforce, I used to count the number of amazing’s Marc Benioff would say during a speech.  You’d run out of fingers in minutes.  But somehow it worked.  He was a great — no, amazing — speaker and I never got tired of listening to him.

This is Silicon Valley.   The land where one of my competitors can still peddle a cock-and-bull story about how he, as an immigrant limo driver with $26 (and a master’s in computer science), sold a company (where he was neither founder nor CEO), worked as (a member in the office of the) CTO at SAP, and is growing stunningly — no, amazingly — fast (despite a rumored recent down-round and rough layoffs).  Fact-checking, smact-checking.  If it’s a Man Bites Dog story, people will eat it up.  Blog it, hit publish, and move onto the next one.

Maybe I should pitch the equivalent story about me:

Lifeguard and Self-Taught Programmer Who Arrived in California with Only $30, a Red Bandana, and a Box of Bootlegged Grateful Dead Tapes Becomes CEO of Host Analytics

“Dude, I was guarding by the pool one day and this wicked thunderstorm hit and, flash, like totally suddenly I realized the world needed cloud-based, enterprise planning, budgeting, modeling, consolidation, and analytics.”

And we could discuss how I “hacked” on paper tape back in high school:  “the greatest part about hacking on paper tape was you could roll bones with it when you were done and literally, like, smoke your program.”

It would be a roughly equivalent story.  I’m sure they’d eat it up.

Silicon Valley is a place, after all, where we can create a metaphor for something that doesn’t exist — a unicorn  — and then discover 133 of them.

Is our reaction “bad metaphor?”  No, of course not.  It’s “wow, we’re special, we’ve got 133 things that don’t exist.”

Unicorns (generally defined as startups with a $1B+ valuation) are mostly of a result of three things:

  • The cost and hassle of being a public company, post Sox.  Why go public if you don’t have to?
  • The ability to raise formerly IPO-sized rounds (e.g., $100M) in the private markets.
  • A general bubble in late-stage financing where valuations are high enough to create the IPO-as-down-round phenomena

As the late-stage financing bubble appears to be near popping, you increasingly hear new terms for unicorns.  For example, Good Technology, a “onceacorn,” sold earlier this month for $400M.  Since I love words, I’ve been tracking these new terms closely with some amusement:  formercorns, “just horses with birthday hats on,” usta-corns, dying unicorns, and unicorpses.

So, hopefully, as the financing fuel that’s stoking the fire starts to die down, the hype bubble will go with it.  Until then, enjoy this tweet, which captures the spirit of Silicon Valley today just perfectly:

vape